“Have you ever thought, ‘They should’ve known that’ — only to find yourself frustrated, cleaning up someone else’s mess, or feeling unheard by your peers?”
“Let me tell you about Maria. That’s not her real name, but it could be — because so many leaders I work with share a similar experience.
Maria came to me saying,
‘My team just doesn’t get it. I keep repeating myself. And my peers — they’re not collaborating. It’s exhausting.’
She wanted to become more assertive. Her goal? To ‘hold people accountable’ and ‘gain more respect.’ But what we uncovered during coaching was something much deeper.”
“As we peeled back the layers, a pattern emerged. Maria was making assumptions.
She assumed:
• Her team should know her expectations — without needing to spell them out.
• Her colleagues should understand the urgency — without context.
• And when people didn’t respond the way she hoped, she assumed they didn’t care… or worse, were incompetent.
But here’s the truth:
❌ Assumptions kill clarity.
❌ They substitute quality communication with frustration.
❌ And they damage trust — fast.
In one session, Maria reflected on a conflict with her analyst.
She said, ‘I thought he knew I wanted the report in our standard format. He’s been here two years.’
I asked her, ‘Did you tell him?’
She paused. ‘No… I just expected it.’
Boom. That was the moment.
That pause?
That was the beginning of her leadership breakthrough.”
“Maria realized she was leading with expectations instead of communication. So we focused on 3 key shifts:
- Ask, don’t assume
– She started asking, ‘What’s your understanding of this task?’ instead of assuming alignment. - Clarify expectations
– No more vague briefs. She now shares the ‘why’, the context, and what success looks like. - Create honest conversations
– With peers, she dropped the passive frustration and started saying, ‘Can we talk about what’s going on?’“
And guess what happened?
✔️ Her team started owning results.
✔️ Peer relationships improved — because she replaced judgment with curiosity.
✔️ And she felt more confident and less drained.
“So here’s my question for you:
Where might you be assuming instead of communicating?
What’s one expectation you need to make explicit today?
What’s one conversation you’ve been avoiding — that might unlock a completely new outcome?”
“Great leadership isn’t about knowing it all.
It’s about staying humble enough to ask, brave enough to speak, and clear enough to connect.”